abort

if you left it up to me i'd take a sledge a hammer to these walls, these posters, these frames capturing these memories, this isn't me, you can't confine me, i was never meant for this institution, i wont be here long. I lay in bed awake. I'm so cold, play my music louder, shut up. Rip these posters off the wall. You were once my favorite band. Who are you now? Who are you to me? On how many other teenager's walls do you hang? What life do you lead? Get out. Break down the walls and fly away to Europe, I'll make a few stops first. My back hurts. I've had enough of this. I'm done. You've infected me, and I wont forgive you if you leave. The funeral on shuffle. beautiful. I'll finish this up now, try to rest. I'm restless but in dire need of sleep, a familiar sight to you, I'm sorry. Let us suffer together, I know of a cure, but I can't be sure .. I can't be sure.

at every occasion I'll be ready for a funeral

on and on

its weird, so weird, all i want is a camera, and backpack full of treasures and clothes, and to travel this world, and you by my side, and change in my pocket, and weightless shoulders, and to go no where in life, but we'll have it all.

out of place

I man my post at this picnic table
the man walks his dog, we exchange nods, and he'll carry on
this has become a routine between bench-girl and dog-man
it didn't take long for us to litter this table with paraphernalia of todays generation
i'll sit here until the sunsets and the sprinklers come on
there's no grass here, the ground is littered with cigaret butts
attempts to fill the voids of those empty days

is this what college is?
cause i'm got getting my intended education.
i know you're not proud.
i'm not here for me.
i wont be here for long

there's a ghost in this room

words are just words
are we waiting for the right ones
what do they mean
words are just words
sing to me.

fall

my birthday coming up
i'm terrified that i'll be spending it alone
its been weeks since we've talked.
not even sure if you've noticed.

i don't understand why this is happening
i miss the rumble of your muffler speeding down my street.

your smile hangs in a frame on my wall
your laugh burns in my memory.

this is a mess
do you care enough to sort it out?

i can't focus on anything
you've always been the cure.

I hate the army

if i could run to the comfort of your blue eyes i would

i havent felt this lost since 9th

i cant even find you

anymore

miscommunication

is it too good to be true?
is that why you're bringing to its end?
i'm not ready for this.
i've given you all i've got,
I wont let you down.

nowhere man

'if i could live my whole life over,
knowing what I know now,
i'd do everything exactly the same -
even the stuff that didn't turn out well.
It all led me to YOU'

Even if you're ashamed of me,
I'll take you as you come.

stitched up

I'm not used to this perspective of the hospital bed
my palms are sweaty my insides are churning and you're stronger than i'll ever be.
between this and that and what more is to come
i'm fucking numb.

i'm giving in.

i'm done.

eating blueberries makes me think of your eyeballs

walls crashing down all around me
your standing still before me
i'm finally sure of this one thing
fires surrounding; scenes from movies
hold me, protect me, rescue me.
I'll never look back.